I just finished this book. I have to say, it was food for thought. I'm sure that it hasn't gone unnoticed that I have been in a funk. For two years. It's been a pretty bad funk. I suspect it bordered on depression that may or may not have required medication. (I did not take any.) I spent my last year at the store being pissed I was there...resenting every second of it. Then I spent the year after I sold it being miserable. Not with anything in particular...just miserable. So I picked up this book thinking that maybe it would help. And it did!
I think that it gave me an awareness that I am surrounded by things to be grateful for. I know I have an amazing husband, daughter, family & friends. But I was stuck in this mental place where I just could not be happy. I had no idea what would make me happy, either. So I was just wandering around in a haze. Since I started the book I have been making a conscious effort to be happier. To let things go. To live in the moment. I've been taking mindfulness breaks at work (60 seconds of just concentrating on breathing) every now & again. I signed up for an art retreat...a photography class. I've started making plans. Don & I are planning a road trip in the fall. I have goals. I can't remember when I had goals that didn't revolve around the store! And while I've let the depression slip back in now & again, I have these things to look forward to that keep me grounded.
My friend Kelly & I met today to discuss the book. It was nice to talk to someone about the stuff that the author considers in the book. And about real life things that sometimes get in the way of our own happiness. Kelly, you're a great friend! Thank you for today!
The other day my friend Mike posted a link to this pretty amazing article. It's something to ponder.
15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
from www.purposefairy.com

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:
1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
Thank YOU for a great afternoon!
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should read The Power of Now & meet to review again. I'm sure the martini made it even more profound. Haha!
DeleteOh how I wish I could have discussed Happiness with you both! Audra
ReplyDeleteYou can join us on the next book/life review!
DeleteI love this list - it summarizes so much of what I have been learning over the last few years. I did not know you were in a funk - based on what I have seen on your blog, it seemed like everything was pretty hunky-dory.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, we have been been reading and re-reading the Power of Now for about 3 years now and have found it to be sooooo powerful in addressing the proper approach to life. Really life-changing for me although I still need constant reminders it seems. Anyway, I think you are on the right track!!
XOX
I'll have to take a look at that book. I've heard of it, but not picked it up yet. Constant reminders are key!
DeleteGlad to know I didn't project everything I was feeling onto the blog. I felt like I'd become Debbie Downer here, too. I like being open & honest & heartfelt, but sometimes it's a little scary.
Thanks so much for reading & all your kind comments!