pages

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Chores

DSC_0055

Do your teenage kids do chores?  Do they get an
allowance?  How much allowance do you give them?  Is it tied
to their chores?  I can't remember the last time Kendall did a
chore...or got an allowance for that matter.  Ok, she does do some
things...with an eye roll and a great exhale of air...and quite a bit of
drama.   I asked her about it recently & she said it was my
fault she didn't do chores because she didn't have a chore chart.  A chore chart? 
What is she?  4?  We haven't had that since she was
little.  Tell me, do your 14 year olds still have chore
charts?  Is it time for me to get creative & make up a chart for a 14 year old? 
I'm looking for some advice here...she's not motivated by money...she
never goes anywhere....never buys anything (unless she has a gift
card).  And before you assume we buy her everything she wants,
think again.  When she went to Sea World camp a few years ago, she
had to sell cookies at a yard sale to help pay & had to come up with
her own spending money.  So she'll work when she wants
something...she just doesn't want anything.  So how do I motivate
her?  Threats?  Don't work.  Grounding?  Doesn't
work.  Begging?  Doesn't work.  Guilt?  Doesn't faze
her.  But honestly, my husband & I need some help without a
fight.  And I want her to be a productive member of society. 
Is that possible?  Is that too much to ask?  Any
suggestions? 

6 comments:

  1. all i can say is good luck...mailing out my page today too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol. i was a teenager not too long ago, and let me say... anything i did
    was "out of the goodness of my heart." i think at that age i wanted to
    be treated like an adult, maybe she wants some sort of delegation, hence
    the chore chart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, whatever, my daughther is beginging the same lovely personality. I
    have no advice for you, I don't even know what I am doing anymore.
    But, tell Kendall that the look she is giving you in the photo is one of
    my favorite looks that she makes. She is my little peach puff!!!!!!!!
    And I want to pinch her cute little cheeks. : )

    ReplyDelete
  4. See she has me so upset I can't even spell correctly.

    ReplyDelete
  5. WOW! I felt like I was reading back into my kids teen years EXCEPT they
    DID want stuff and they did want to go to mall and movies.. my advice,
    for what's it's worth is make up a chore chart if thats what she really
    wants...
    personally what I did is this: you live in this home, you make a mess,
    etc.. you can HELP do them without $$$ BUT I did have extra's they
    could do for an allowence... ex: cleaning baseboards, doors (ya know
    all those handprints, etc that just stay..) shoveling the snow/raking
    the lawn. as well as once a month the refrigerator/freezer got a
    complete full cleaning and each month 1 girl would do it, cleaning out
    the car or someone elses, helping others that couldn't do it (we had
    neighbors that were older and needed the extra help) - that was included
    in the extra $$
    the list could go on..
    even once I dropped my oldest off and said here's the list of
    groceries, etc I needed now shop... (we were at walmart) I met up with
    her in 1 hr and I paid... it gave her a different prospective in what i
    had to do.. she was 15 at time.
    back rubs, foot massages, etc were part of the $$..
    this decided for my girls if they wanted something bad enough.
    perhaps once Kendall has $$ i her hand, she might find this fun and
    necessary LOL
    I feel for you, I really do. It wasn't until my daughter moved out that
    I even liked her again.. LOL
    the allowance really is based on what you can afford on a weekly basis.
    so hard to say. OK.. so I am no help here. :(
    the only thing of relief is she will grow out of it and if you don't
    allow her to "push your buttons" (YES... I know It's easier said that
    done) she will eventually return to a "normal" if this is even a
    possibility of teenage life.
    as never wanting anything or going anywhere.. count your blessing :)
    we are here for ya... :0 really we are! and if for anything else -
    you will be helping another future teen mom

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah, parenting! It is my observation that teenagers are developmentally
    like toddlers! It doesn't look as cute on them though! Not motivated
    by anything...not human nature. Think more creatively to find her
    motivation. Perhaps she does not get any electronics, phone, tv, no
    yummy, junk snacks, etc. Theory, you are not contributing so you use
    things that cost me money! If you do a lot as a family, cut back,
    telling her you don't have time as you have to take care of all the
    chores by yourself. Doesn't go anywhere, do anything, is depression a
    concern? Sidestep any power struggles. Try the chore chart, have her
    make it, have her list the chores she is willing to do. You may be
    surprised as to what chores she enjoys doing. Tie bedtime in even with
    her level of responsibility/chores. Hope everyone's comments help!!
    Breath...

    ReplyDelete